Rantsicle 3, Requiem

Friday, the 28th of August 2009, 7:53 PM, PST

And it ended just like that, my three-day-old relationship with MV. I guess, the bottomline is you can pin all the blame on me.

For starters, I must admit that I was trying hard, I gave too much too soon, and she wasn't really that into me in the first place. There. The classic, sure-fire recipe for breakups. All the signs were there, but I ignored it.

Ingredient #1: Trying Hard

I, almost to near-obsession, did everything to impress her. At least, everything i thought would make the relationship work at the onset. Funny thing is, all my actions were made honestly and in good faith. I didn't try pretending to be something I'm not. And that's not really saying that much 'cause all those said actions were I think somehow tainted by something, which I don't like to discuss. Let's just say, the results failed to justify the means.

Ingredient #2: Giving Too Much Too Soon

Self-explanatory. And I'm not talking about financial stuff. It could have worked were MV a student seeking tuition funds in exchange for sexual favors, but I'm not into that...for the time being, that is. *wink* Joke! (",)

I did too much too soon. Period. I'll spare you the cheesy details.

Ingredient #3: She Wasn't Really Into Me Initially

This is I think the saddest. most damnedest part. The question then is, why did she say yes to me? Good question, Ken. Keep it up. As I see it, she liked what I represented, but not who I really was which, given the short time that we had together, is obviously impossible on her part to determine. (I think this is fast evolving into a boo-hoo story. Great.)

All things considered, I don't really hate her, and I won't explain all the things that made me use the term hate in the immediate preceding sentence. I just can't blame her. As I've said, blah, blah, blah, Amen. Funny thing is, I truly did love her. At least, I decided to the moment I saw her coming towards me when we first met. I even wanted to introduce her to my family. Weird, huh?

Yes, I was that into her. Call it weird, call it desperate, but WTH, "all thing's are possible in the PGA tour." In the realm of love, anything goes.

Ask me if breaking up with her hurt...NO! By the time, I've written this, I'm so numb, Hannibal would be so proud of me. Yes, it did, darn it. It did. Doc, more morphine please.

I realized that Nietzche was right. I've become a little stronger, denser. :) No use crying over spilt milk. I should seek the source, the "two fawns, twins of a gazelle, that feed among the lilies." That wasn't Nietzche, by the way, silly. Solomon, (that's Your Late Majesty to you, please) said or should I say sang that.

Status: MV-free Area. Curiously happy. Open Season. Again.

Thanks, Mai. Truly grateful for your honesty. Carpe Diem.